My bucket list is getting quite complete. I ran a marathon, did a Kennedy walk, wrote some books, got married and made beautiful children, became a granddad, and now, finally, I can also say I did a Ted Talk.

The talk in itself wasn’t the most horrible experience. However, reviewing the video was an entirely different ballgame. I disliked it from the first moment to – unfortunately – the last.

I’ve been coaching Tedx talks in Antwerp, Brussels and Amsterdam, for the last seven years. It’s also safe to say that I have extensive experience in public speaking. I’ve been doing it for the Nielsen company, I literally toured all over Europe after publishing my book on storytelling. Usually, my audiences are captivated and enthusiastic. Because I master the subject. That’s not boasting, it’s a simple fact. Why? because I teach storytelling, I give seminars and workshops and – as said – I give keynotes. I’ve been refining those talks, day after day, week after week, year after year. I know what works, and what doesn’t. I can experiment with new jokes, new lines, new approaches, without compromising flow and content.

Now, things were different, and it shows. And since I’m also a teacher, I might as well let others benefit from my observations and personal critique.

New topic: get it right, and don’t stop till you get it right! The subject of my talk was simple: I hate nostalgia, and I think it’s a dangerous sentiment, to exploit. We have a selective memory of the past, we are confronted with an idealised world in the present, seen through the lenses of social media, and we walk into an unknown future with a rapidly evolving stream of technological advancements, that scare us and alienate us from others. If used in a political constellation, the simple appeal to return to a simpler world with frontiers and boundaries, where there were no global problems, like migration, environment, or poverty, is dangerous and misleading. The solution – in my view – lies in intercultural and intergenerational understanding, through stories, through dialogue.

Simple enough. Yet unclear in the talk. Why? Because I spent too much time in the introduction phase, trying to connect with an unknown audience (which is a good thing), using too many examples, and wasting precious time. As brevity comes from selection and not from compression, I made the most serious mistake one can make: I started to rush and skip elements, rendering things rather incomprehensible. That is particularly and painfully obvious at the end of the talk.

Unclear. Why? Because I started to doubt on the train to Amsterdam and threw all my previous slides and more importantly, my structure overboard. The result is a hesitant English (I have an IELTS certificate C1!), filled with stutters and repetition. Not to mention the somewhat clumsy structure.

Rehearse, not to learn your topic, but to improve! As I always say to my students: rehearse, rehearse, rehearse. Rehearse on flow, on structure on rhetorics. It allows you to detect the missing logical bridges, the hasty and ill-reflected turns, it allows you to feel confident, and crack jokes to lighten the mood. It allows you also to fasten the pace and skip the right sections if you run out of time. I didn’t do that. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I was lacking time, not in the preparation but in the execution. Overestimating your skills, and your possibilities is dangerous.

It’s your voice, it’s a gift. Normally I seem to have a pleasant, warm voice. At least that’s what people tell me. It’s a gift. I’m happy with it. And normally I don’t pay attention to it.

In this case, I wanted to be sure my voice was warm and calm. So I ‘over-stretched’. The result is a boring, monotonous humming, no depth, no enthusiasm and most importantly, no rhythm. It might seem harsh to say it like that, but I’ve seen recordings of myself in the past, and being able to change pitch, and flow allows for build-up in attention span.

It’s lacking in this talk. Once again, I guess it’s due to Point 1 and 2.

Attitude, the ultimate defence mechanism. People who don’t know me have said that I come across as very arrogant and self-confident. I’m big, and tall and old (or experienced, depending on your view). Yet, I am a friendly guy. Whenever I feel insecure, I hide behind that arrogant attitude, to prevent questions.

When I reviewed the video it was my first impression: ‘You, smug, condescending bastard!’ I was sitting in the green room, with a normal heartbeat of around 70 beats, and the moment i had to go on stage, it rose to 120. That’s not normal for me. It’s normal to have some stress before you go on stage, make no mistake, but it should be a healthy stress. Ways to overcome? Be prepared, drink water and control your breathing, and especially: don’t act defensive. As i did.

Rushing through your conclusion is the cardinal sin of any talk. It’s supposed to be the fireworks of any talk. The moment where it all comes together, and the reward of a careful built-up of arguments and statements. You can see me looking at the monitor and glancing my watch at one point and rushing from that point onwards. Soo unfortunate! Connect at the start, and then carefully structure your arguments towards an inevitable conclusion. It’s that simple. The end was ok, the conclusion was not and the link towards storytelling was missing.

So all in all, it was a lesson in humility. But it was also a formidable, enjoyable experience, that nobody can take away from me. And just like with marathons, I can now boast in bars all over the world… ‘Marathons? yeah, I ran those when I was younger… Ted Talks? i did that too…’

And I recommend it to all of you. The teams involved are highly professional and enthusiastic, you meet interesting people and you have fun.